Hubmublog

2011-03-28T12:35:00.002-04:00

ONLY A MONTH...

This semester has been particularly busy, and so the past month (or five weeks now) flew by so quickly, it doesn't seem possible. I've still been trying to take pictures documenting our journey through parenthood, and have posted several of those efforts on Facebook. It seems that the "formal photo shoots" still manage to escape me, despite my best efforts. Fortunately, some of the more casual picture-taking sessions have yielded decent results.

Wendy and I have found that the transition to full-time parenthood challenging at times, especially since more than 20 years of marriage can allow "ruts" to develop ("patterns of behavior" might have a less negative connotation!). No doubt we've been in some ruts, and Mathias has been the equipment needed to till the ground! And, just when things seem to be going very well, another "first" will often take us by surprise. This past weekend, on Friday night, something made him uncomfortable at about 12:30 in the morning. He had been sleeping for about an hour, and we had just gotten settled as well, since it was Friday night. One of the most frustrating things as a parent is not being able to calm a distressed child! To make a long story short, we ended up having to hold him all night (we switched off through the night) so that he could get some rest. We suspect there was a gas bubble, or some stomach distress, so that lying down was uncomfortable, but when held vertically, there was apparently some relief. Ultimately, Wendy and I got no sleep that night. After a relatively normal morning on Saturday, he did nap quite a bit through the day, so we caught up as well, for the most part. Both Saturday night and Sunday night were uneventful once again, for which we're thankful!

In general, I think we're doing quite well, for old folks! In early December, we had my sister Rachel babysit him while we joined some colleagues for a Christmas dinner at the Lobster House in Norwood. Then, in early March, our pastor's wife took care of him for the day so we could go to Burlington for Wendy to see a rheumatologist for an arthritis evaluation. Otherwise, he's been with us, and we wouldn't want it any other way!

Mathias actually travels well, which is important, since we've been on the road quite a bit; a significant amount of that travel has been for Burlington appointments related to his orthopedic treatments, but he's also been to New York City, Albany, and Pennsylvania. In the car, he generally sleeps or entertains himself with the toys attached to his car seat, as long as we keep him properly fed and changed. Wendy and I will both be glad when he can face front, since he seems very distant when viewed through two mirrors!

What a blessing this little boy has been in our lives, and how blessed I am to have a caring wife who set aside her work plans for this year so she could be a stay-at-home mommy during this critically important time in his life. We're no longer just a couple, able to expect to do couple things, but we're a family now, and that has made all the difference...

2011-02-21T12:36:00.003-05:00

ANOTHER LONG GAP!!

So I never meant for this to happen, once I had re-entered the world of my 'blog. But, I must admit that the convenience of Facebook has made my entries here tougher to justify. It seems that we, as Americans, are always looking for the easier way...

The last few months have been a flurry. Recently, we "celebrated" (I only put that in quotes because we didn't really have a celebration; it was more of an acknowledgment) Mathias turning six months old. Gestationally, he is just over four months, and his physical development is right on target for that schedule. For length and weight he's at the 50th percentile for four months; his 25" and 14 lbs, 12.5 oz statistics are actually the 10th percentile for a typical six-month-old. We don't know where these months have gone! I know it sounds cliche, but it seems like just yesterday we were in the hospital, holding a tiny form that didn't even know we were there. Today, we listen to constant jabbering as he tries to express himself without words, and he is a real ham when we pay him the attention he craves! He's a little less effusive around other people, at least for a few minutes, but wide smiles are very common, and giggles are becoming more so.

Here is a collage picture that I created recently - it has several different images from the hospital, and made a great 8x10 print. I want to create more of these from the dozens (I guess hundreds now) of images we've snapped since August 9.

I really will try to post more consistently. (This is mostly for you, Jeff!)

2010-08-30T14:03:00.005-04:00

A FRESH BEGINNING...

Here is today's question: "How does one, after more than 18 months of silence, resume speaking fluidly, and without it seeming like an awkward start?" To me, this question is akin to that moment when you see someone you haven't seen in a long time, exchange a few introductory pleasantries, and then stand there looking at the ground or surrounding scenery, wondering if you truly have nothing more to say to each other! By contrast, I've also run into an old friend and immediately started a meaningful conversation that made it seem like we had met the day before for lunch...

First, I re-read my post from February 24, 2009. That was tough. I even went back and read some of the posts that preceded it, but it quickly got overwhelming. I don't want to re-live that past; I want to think about TODAY!

Well, actually I don't want to think about today. I want to think about the three weeks that led up to today, and I want to keep those memories more fresh than I know they will naturally be after time has done its reliable job of eroding them...

I don't want to think about today because:
1. I'm in Potsdam, and Wendy is far away.
2. I'm a father now, and I want nothing more than to be with my little boy.

I do want to think about the three weeks that led up to today because:
1. I'm a father now, and that miracle happened three weeks ago today.
2. Since my job does not obligate me greatly during the summer, I was able to spend all of the time from August 9, 2010 through August 29, 2010 with Wendy and the baby, ignoring other "work" that was just less important.
3. I've been a father now for three weeks.
4. There is a very little boy who will someday call me "Daddy," although he may use other endearing terms first, most of which don't appear in our dictionaries.

So let me recap - the short, less painful version of the bad stuff, and more details about the good stuff.

December 2008 - first round of fertility treatments in NYC. Scared, excited, hopeful, worried, successful! Wendy has a resultant pregnancy with a due date in early September 2009. We celebrate. Oh, how we celebrate! Then, it all comes crashing down with a missed miscarriage somewhere between 8 weeks and 12 weeks gestation. Wow, how could this happen?

July/August 2009 - second round of fertility treatments in NYC. Excited, differently scared, wishfully hopeful, better success in the laboratory, nothing! How could this happen?

Fall 2009 - some additional consultations with our team of experts, and they say we're likely just part of the larger statistical picture, and there hasn't really been anything overlooked. We thought God didn't NEED statistics, but we also know He doesn't just pull us away from pain because He can...

January 2010 - third round of fertility treatments in NYC. More scared, for some reason (advancing age, perhaps?), but still excited and hopeful. This time the days in the city feel more business-like, less like a vacation. As they say in our rural, redneck northern area of NY, we just want to "Git 'r done"! Success! Wow! Now we're REALLY scared!

As the final stages of winter 2009-10 pass by, and spring takes its place, happiness begins to replace fear. Hope gently, then more forcefully, pushes doubt aside. Things are going well, heading toward October 15. We find out it's going to be a boy. (Of course we wanted to know! At our age, we didn't want to buy stuff that was the wrong color!) We decide on a name, but keep it secret from everyone. We dream about the nursery, and start to put those plans together. Spring turns into summer, which is especially busy. A HUGE shower is planned for August 14, 2010, to celebrate the upcoming arrival. We've waited a LONG TIME for this party!!

Finally, in the end of July and early August, we start work in the house. The new nursery room (which has been a computer and catch-all room for nine years) is torn apart in preparation for new carpet, new paint, decorations, furniture, etc. Some of the items are even picked up and stored in their boxes until the room is ready. A planned vacation to Lake Titus near Malone interrupts our momentum; we leave our terribly disorganized house on August 7 to relax at the lake. I mean, we still have two months, right?

Wrong. So wrong! Sunday, August 8 Wendy has "cramps." They persist for several hours, and seem quite rhythmic; once she confesses that fact, we go to the hospital after calling them for their advice. They determine she's in labor, and send her to Burlington via ambulance transport. I gather some things and go along, arriving a couple of hours later than she.

Initially, their desire is to hold off labor for 48 hours. This would allow them to inject her with steroids, which help to develop immature lungs in premature babies. However, blood work indicates an infection, even though there is no fever. At that point, it's actually healthier to get the baby out of that environment, and so they simply allow the labor to proceed.

The final result? On August 9, 2010 (that's right - 8.9.10) at 9:08 a.m., Mathias Joseph entered this world and made us proud parents. He weighed 3 lbs, 9 oz, and was 16.5 inches long. Initial assessments showed him to be healthy; he needed a bit of breathing support (through a CPAP machine) from when he was three hours old until he was about 27 hours old, and that was it. He's growing well, making good progress at taking his nutrition by mouth, and generally impressing everyone who has contact with him! We are thankful, having been perfectly content to gaze at him adoringly for hours on end over the last three weeks.

So now, reality hits as I begin my fall semester. This separation is tough, but we have been so strengthened by these years of challenges that, as a contemporary country song says, "This Ain't Nothin'"!

As I typed in a recent email to a colleague, when describing the challenge of being here while the rest of my family is not, "Three IVF attempts and a 'too-long emotional roller coaster ride' are behind us, and our cheeks are now sore from three weeks of wide smiles. As you can imagine, there have also been some tears, but they taste less salty and more sweet.

I like sweet.

2009-02-24T09:29:00.003-05:00

THOUGHTS TO LEAN ON...

As we move forward, there have been many expressions of kindness and concern from our friends and family members that have been God-sent, providing strength that we need for the continued journey. We thank you all, sincerely.

Recent events have not changed any of the facts of the last few months. God's hand on our lives was evident, no, IS evident, as we look back. He prepares the way, but He doesn't necessarily give us the grace or strength that we need in advance of when we need it. As Rev. Rowan Fay preached last summer at Vermontville Camp, in a message about weightlifting: "We don't get strength FOR the load, we get strength FROM the load!" However, this doesn't mean that God's concern for something that He already knows will happen is absent. We're promised in scripture that He won't give us more than we can handle, with His help. Ah - there's the catch - with His help.... When we try to go through life on our own, we find true limits. In His strength, there is none.

Little did I know last Monday, when I was completing the layout for the March 2009 Pilgrim News, what Wendy and I would be facing on Wednesday. But God did. Generally, one of the final tasks in that monthly project is to design the front cover. Since I've been doing this job, I've tried to have a cover theme for each issue. Usually, it's a full-page picture, and a scripture that makes sense with that picture as accompaniment. March is sometimes difficult. In NY, we're caught between winter and spring, and this year Easter doesn't come until April. So what was I to do? I looked through my collection of personal pictures, trying to find something, and I did! Last summer, we had a tremendous storm develop very quickly. I had taken my camera, driven down to the end of our road where there is more open space, and captured some images of that looming storm cloud. It was dark, foreboding, even a bit scary. And, unless someone inspected it closely, they probably wouldn't notice that it was "out of season" for the March cover.

So what scripture could be a companion to this picture? Of course, something from one of David's psalms. David so often articulated the highs and lows of life at the same time, communicating to us centuries later that we could get through them as well. Take time to read the entire 107th psalm, and you'll see what I mean, but pay attention, as I did, to the first part of verse 29: "He maketh the storm a calm...."

And so He has. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers. Thank you for tears you may have shed for us, and with us. They have mingled together with those of many others to help cleanse away the hurt. And the soothing, calming love of God has wrapped us in His presence, gently telling us that we are not alone, even when no child yet graces our home. We have Him, and we have each other. "We have this moment to hold in our hands, and to touch, as it slips through our fingers like sand. Yesterday's gone, and tomorrow may never come, but we have this moment today."

Together, we take the step that is today.

2009-02-19T16:03:00.004-05:00

THIS IS WHAT WE'VE BEEN TRAINING FOR...

Last summer, a dear friend of our church family lost her battle with cancer. Ena Maharaj was an inspiration to anyone who knew her, and dealt with her rather sudden illness in an extremely positive way. Although I did not see her in the final days of her life, my pastor told us as a congregation that, at one point when she was talking to him, she stated, "This is what I've been training for!"

I remember thinking that I couldn't feel that way myself at the time. Wendy and I had experienced, seemingly, setback after setback in our plans to proceed with in-vitro fertilization. In fact, at that same time - within just a few days - we found out that we were not on the September IVF cycle as we had originally planned, and were told that our turn would not be until December.

Then autumn came:

"State insurance should cover this...."

"Because you're returning from an unpaid leave, you can enroll in the Empire Plan immediately, and it will take effect on October 3...."

"CRMI is one of New York State's Centers of Excellence, and so payment is at 100%, with no deductibles...."

"Since the Center of Excellence facility is more than 100 miles from your home, you will also be reimbursed for travel, lodging, and food costs while you are undergoing treatment...."

Suddenly, it all made sense, from a human perspective. And looking back, there was a trail of circumstantial evidence over 10 years long that lined up to say that this would work. And, it did!

Christmas Day and a positive pregnancy test - what a gift....

Tears of joy replacing tears of anguish; our dreams would come true!

Plans, smiles, laughter, and my mind could already hear the night cries of a baby - OUR baby - in the German Shepherd themed nursery that was already envisioned.

Then February 18 came:

"Your blood pressure's a little high, are you nervous?"

"Can't hear anything with the Doppler, let's try an ultrasound...."

"There's no sign of cardiac activity...."

"Essentially no growth since the last visit...."

For almost 24 hours now, we have been making a conscious choice to believe what our pastor has said on several occasions: "God is too wise to make a mistake, and loves us too much to hurt us just because He can."

We give our gift back to Him, knowing our child(ren) will be well cared for in His loving arms. In fact, perhaps their grandparents are enjoying their company right now, and that gives us extra reason to make sure we make it as well.

God did not promise that life would be easy, but He promised to be with us no matter the circumstances. This is what we've been training for.

"[T]he Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord." (Job 1:21b)

"[B]ut as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord." (Joshua 24:15b)

2009-01-23T16:46:00.009-05:00

A MIRACLE, JUST FOR US...

Since mid-December, I have been wondering just what constitutes a miracle. The dictionary defines the word as "an effect or extraordinary event in the physical world that surpasses all known human or natural powers and is ascribed to a supernatural cause." In my lifetime, I know that has meant different things to different people. From accounts recorded in scripture, I read of the blind receiving sight, a wedding party having the best wine when only water had been put in the pots at Christ's command, and even a dead man living again. In years past, I know of individuals who have had a dire physical prognosis, and yet at one point when they went back to the doctor for a checkup, he "didn't understand" how they were suddenly well. All of these have been called "miracles," and they certainly fit the definition.

Many times we hear people refer to "the miracle of life." Although medical science has increased the duration of life in recent years, and can improve the quality of life in the face of certain medical diagnoses, it is still unable to create life; conception still requires God's hand.

I have been hesitant to post these musings, with the news that has precipitated them. Why? Well, for a couple of reasons. I have lived long enough to know that people's personal ethics vary widely, and it is not my intent to offend anyone with this post. Also, the situation that Wendy and I find ourselves in still does not seem fully real. After so many years of hope, prayers, dashed hopes, and tears, our minds are working hard to process this news, but here it is. Perhaps you can help to convince us that we are not dreaming....

I've heard people marvel over modern technology. When a couple is expecting a child, they can actually see the new addition to the family long before he or she enters the world. What you see here may be the earliest pre-natal picture you've ever viewed:

We've been married for over 18 years. We've never had children. On December 1, 2008, we entered the Center for Reproductive Medicine and Infertility (CRMI) in New York City, ready to finally find some answers. As if the city wasn't intimidating enough, this modern facility is a bit more sizable than our typical north country hospitals...

Two weeks later on December 15, after many trips into and out of the city, and a LOT of tests and injections (the total is up to 79 right now), we returned to CRMI for the final time to have our two embryos (shown above) returned to their mother. The doctors had done what they could, God had caused new life to begin, and the rest was up to Him.

On December 25, we had the merriest Christmas morning in many years when a home pregnancy test showed a positive result! That was confirmed by a blood test on December 26. Further blood tests on December 29 and January 5 showed an established pregnancy. Then, on January 8, an ultrasound was done and a gestational sac was evident.

The next Thursday, January 15, a second ultrasound showed a fetal heartbeat of 115 bpm (which we also heard on the monitor), and good progress. We were a bit disappointed that only one embryo liked Wendy enough to stick around, but we believe that just means our family is already begun in heaven.

And again yesterday, January 22, the third ultrasound showed development to be right on target.

Now, we get a little break from the doctors! Our next checkup is scheduled for mid-February, which will seem like a very long wait, I'm sure. One day at a time....

For the last several years, we have struggled with a wide variety of emotions. Our faith has been tested, and our small home has seemed way too large and extremely empty. We told the Lord last fall that, no matter what the outcome of our attempt at medical intervention for infertility, we were all His. He knows us, our limits, and the "desires of our hearts." We are so thankful that He has blessed us, and by His grace we will welcome a new family member in early September.

If you've never really considered the sense of helplessness, hopelessness, and deep grief that comes from being childless (not by choice), then please watch this touching video: Tears and Hope It can't vicariously put you in our place, but it can help to sensitize you more to the hurts of others.

We covet your continued prayers in the months ahead....

2009-01-20T16:48:00.003-05:00

SOME IMAGES OF CHRISTMAS

I know it's a little late, but I wanted to post some Christmas pictures. I didn't take very many, but here are a few...

2008-12-13T20:34:00.004-05:00

IT'S FUN TO BE ONE!

We wouldn't normally drive to Pennsylvania just for a birthday party, but we're closer than we usually would be! It was about a two-hour drive to Macungie, PA, where Brandon James Powell is just two days short of being ONE YEAR OLD!! He'll turn the big 0-1 on Monday, December 15...

I didn't get as many pictures as I hoped, but I'll post a few here for your enjoyment. Today was an exciting day overall: good news, family, sunshine, what more could we ask for?

Is this guy cute or what?

Mommy is getting a kick out of something, while Ethan (Menkes) looks on!

Now she has calmed down!

Okay, so I'm not crazy about the hat, mom!!

The happy family, with guests, taken from the side, and a little back...

All he really wanted to do with the cake was feed it to mommy!

Grandpa Peter is enjoying the celebration.

A special centerpiece...

By the end of the party, Brandon had gotten a bit tuckered out. That's probably the only reason Aunt Wendy got to hold him!

2008-12-08T11:17:00.006-05:00

WHILE WE'RE HERE...

In an effort to pass this time more easily, we've been doing a bit of sight-seeing. Last Thursday and Friday we took a 48-hour on/off bus tour, getting a chance to see several places of interest. Enjoy the pictures!

First, the classic Empire State Building (deliberately taken behind some branches for effect)...

Then, a building mural that looked pretty neat!

The Flatiron Building (so named because of its shape).

A sculpture to honor garment workers...

A typical picture of traffic during the day!

Next, the Wall Street Bull! (I'm surprised he could be found right now!)

The first public bathrooms in the downtown area...

I want some ornaments like this, but I'll need a bigger tree!!

A view of Central Park, or one small piece of it...

Some of Times Square, from the upper deck of our bus.

Inside the church near ground zero, the one that got a lot of attention right after the event because it remained standing, there are a lot of memorial tributes. It's quite touching, even over seven years later! This flag has the names of all who perished in the attacks.

This is self-explanatory, I think...

And here's the site itself. I had to go into a two-story Burger King and go upstairs to get this picture out of their window. There is a 15-foot-high covered fence all around the area, since they're doing construction to get ready for the Freedom Tower. What amazes me is the perspective of size - look at the backhoes in the pit for a true sense of how large a space this is!

We also did a night "holiday lights" tour, and it was tough to get good pictures because of my older camera. Here are a few, though. This one was a pretty lighted design that was in one section of town.

I took this picture to verify how stupid we were, riding on the top level of an open-air double decker bus with inadequate winter clothing!

This was the Macy's building, if I recall correctly. One side was just solid lights, but I liked the effect of the stripes.

There was a beautiful (and huge) crystal star that we drove right under, so I got a decent shot with detail!

Wrapping up a building with a lighted ribbon seemed like a neat idea! I wonder how much it costs??

And here it is, the Rockefeller Center Christmas tree! It's gorgeous!!

2008-11-04T22:56:00.004-05:00

WE CAN ONLY DO OUR PART...

So it's finally here - election day. I signed the book. I pulled the levers. I wore my button in support of my chosen candidate. And, so did millions of others across our great land.

The beauty of our system is that everyone has a say. My vote was counted. The tide didn't turn in our area from my vote, but it was there.

Tonight's party was a celebration of the process, not the apparent outcome. It seems Americans, en masse, have more liberal intentions for the next two years of our future than my conscience can condone. We've all spoken, and there were more of them.

Wait, did I say there were more of them? Let me change the perspective...

"There's more with us than be with them, we're on the winning side! With banners unfurled, we'll tell the whole world that Jesus is Captain and Guide! There's naught to fear when He is near, though fierce the conflict may be; we'll never give in the fight against sin, with Christ there's victory!"

We're in a battle, and the stakes just got higher. As I typed this, the election has been called. When I wake up in the morning, it's unlikely that the news will be different, but as I was reminded in an email today, regardless of the outcome of this election:

1. The Bible will still have all of the answers.
2. Prayer will still work.
3. The Holy Spirit will still move.
4. God will still inhabit the praise of His people.
5. God will still pour out His blessings upon His people.
6. There will still be God-anointed teaching and preaching.
7. There will still be singing of praise to God.
8. There will still be room at the Cross.
9. Jesus will still love His own.
10. Jesus will still save the lost.

We cannot blame God for our short-sightedness as a nation. We must look in the mirror. And, after a close examination, we must return to our knees.

Thanks to all who joined us this evening for a great time of fellowship. Being with many friends made discouraging news a little bit easier to hear.

May God bless America, in spite of its choices today.

2008-10-18T22:36:00.003-04:00

MORE DIGITAL WIZARDRY...

When I can find time, I like to try out new digital effects. Someday, I think I could make a living on this, but I'd have to quit my day job.

This is another picture from my niece Tandy's wedding, used in a recolor and layer effect that I think is pretty neat. I think with a bouquet of flowers that had some nice color, it would come out even better.

What do you think? Do you have any pictures you'd like me to Photoshop a bit??

2008-10-16T20:27:00.003-04:00

OUR GUESTS HAVE ARRIVED!

We are planning an election day party, and we have invited several guests. A couple of them arrived today, and it's a bit creepy getting used to having them around the house all the time. Since we're accustomed to just having the two of us around, every now and then we're startled!

It is quite a privilege to have such important visitors, though. We trust that they enjoy our simple home, and won't tell any of our other guests how messy it was before we finally got ready for the party.

Wow - Wendy's short, isn't she?

2008-09-27T20:51:00.004-04:00

SO MANY NAMES...

Last evening and today, we enjoyed a Youth Retreat at Vermontville Camp in the Adirondacks. Although it rained on Friday evening, today was a pleasant, though rather humid, day spent with friends; much was accomplished on the grounds, and our sore bodies over the next few days will remind us of those efforts!

On the way home, we drove through St. Regis Falls, since the Vietnam Memorial Wall replica was on display at the school. Although I had seen it previously (it was in Massena many years ago), it had no less impact this time. In fact, since I'm several years older now than I was when I saw it last, it was probably more meaningful.

I have no close family members who have served in the military, but I have great respect for those who give up the comforts of home to protect our freedom from those who would take it away. From those who sacrificed their lives in years past to those who are on front lines today, in various domestic and foreign locations, I thank you from the bottom of my heart! Here is a small, simple, and no doubt unnoticed tribute from me to you.

2008-09-02T11:07:00.002-04:00

THE END OF SUMMER

My fall semester began last Monday, August 25, but summer didn't officially end until today, Tuesday, September 2. The way that we know summer has actually ended is somewhat sad.

Yes, school has started and we're both gone during the days now, but that's not the worst of it. (After all, this "education thing" is how we make a living.)

Yes, the days are getting shorter and the nights are getting cooler, but we haven't seen snow (again) yet.

Yes, the school tax bill has arrived for 2008-09 (and it's bigger than ever).

Yes, I have to get to bed earlier so I can be rested for morning classes and trips to schools.

But, the way we really know that summer is over - the sad reality that tells us there's a potentially long winter ahead - the reason we cried ourselves to sleep last night - DONNELLY'S IS CLOSED!

For those who have never experienced a soft ice cream cone, for which you have no choice of the flavor from day to day (their motto is "you just pick the size, the flavor has been determined for you"), from the Donnelly's Ice Cream store at Crystal Springs Dairy near Saranac Lake, NY, you just can't understand. This is the smoothest, creamiest ice cream you can find, period (with very few days that may be exceptions)!

Last night, we were returning from Albany, NY, where we had been to visit Rev. Andrew J. Whitney on his 90th birthday, and we stopped about an hour before they were closing for the season. Our mouths were all pre-watered for the final experience this year. But alas, they were out of soft ice cream. They had four (hand-packed) containers of frozen ice cream left to sell, and we bought one. There was NO WAY we were going home without Donnelly's ice cream yesterday!

How much? A half gallon.
What flavor? Chocolate.
The cost? $13.00

Yes, that's right. On Monday, September 1, 2008, Wendy and I spent THIRTEEN DOLLARS for a half gallon of ice cream. To be fair, we haven't been complaining too much about gas prices that are hovering around 15% of that amount, so give us a break. And you know what? As we enjoy the servings of our purchase over the next few days, it will be worth every penny. We'd even give you a bite if you stopped by - just call first to make sure we're home.

2008-07-18T13:49:00.007-04:00

OUR VACATION!

We snuck away a few days between Conference and Vermontville camp to celebrate our anniversary. On Sunday, July 13, we went to Bloomingdale for their night service, then stayed in Saranac Lake with my aunt, leaving Monday mid-day from her house. We had room reservations in Vermont for Monday and Tuesday, and a special room in New Hampshire on Wednesday, but we really didn't have much of an agenda, which is the way we like to vacation! However, we did have a pretty good time, just making it up as we went...

We hadn't gotten far from my aunt's house when we decided to stop at High Falls Gorge. Although so close to home, I don't ever recall going there. It's a beautiful sight, so enjoy the views!

We thought it was interesting how a tree can get nourishment from a rock!

This is a picture of the entire gorge, taken from the low end of the walk. (There were a lot of stairs, but it was worth it!)

This is a closer shot of the upper part of the gorge, which wasn't fully visible in the previous shot.

We hadn't driven much further (Wilmington, NY) when we decided to drive up Whiteface. It was in the low 70s in town, and the temperature at the summit was 51, with a strong breeze. It felt cold at times, but there was decent sun, so it was certainly bearable.

This is a wide angle view from the parking area at Whiteface, not quite at the summit.

We decided to take the elevator up to the summit. Once we walked in the tunnel to the elevator, I looked back and there was no one in the tunnel. I thought this (freehand, no flash) shot was pretty neat!

This is a nice view of Lake Placid from the summit.

This is Mirror Lake (slightly to the left of the above picture) and the village of Lake Placid, home of the Olympic Winter games in 1932 and 1980!

At the summit, there's a sign telling the elevation. Whiteface is the fifth highest peak in NYS - can you name the top four?

Here's a view back at the "walkway" we used to come back down to the parking area. It has hand rails, but it's mostly natural. There are a few places where they have poured some cement or built stairs, but it definitely works the leg muscles to stay upright.

Wow - what a traffic jam! (On the ferry to Vermont, of course, it's always bumper-to-bumper!)

On Tuesday, we went to the Lake Champlain Aquarium and Science Center in Burlington.

This, or some variant, will probably be a periodical cover at some point. What a beautiful view from the observation deck at the Aquarium!

When we left the Aquarium, we drove to Stowe. We parked and walked around the village, visiting several shops. We saw a sign to the Trapp home near Stowe, but we didn't stop there, since our main second stop (heading back south) was in Waterbury...

Ah yes - our heroes. We both have pins that say "Body by Ben and Jerry's", but we're working on that, actually! This plant produces 250,000 pints of ice cream per week, if I recall the tour correctly. They also give three pints of ice cream to every employee after a day of work - that's a pretty good perk!

Milk and Cream - what a delicious combination...

So Wednesday, we were off to New Hampshire! The drive was beautiful, not just all highway. We found a railroad that we want to go on when we visit again, but we didn't want to waste any time today.

Our home for the night - "The Cave." This is a theme motel, and this room was very neat, made to look like the inside of a cave. It had a separate second-level bedroom, a fireplace in the living room area, and a two-person hot tub. There were also a couple of tunnels, one with a PlayStation and the other called "The Den." We wanted to get every penny's worth, so once we checked in, we never left until checkout!

Some of these pictures are natural light, and others used the flash.

I wouldn't normally include a bathroom picture, but the entire bathroom was the shower as well. There were two showers, one on each side wall, and when they were turned on, it also sent water out a waterfall in the ceiling. In fact, you could divert all of the water flow through that waterfall. I wanted to take a picture with the water running, but I was afraid I'd get the camera wet trying to coordinate the shot.

This is a view up to the bedroom from the lower level.

We had some visitors with us...

Here's a view of the lower level from the bedroom.

Here's the bedroom upstairs - a nice king bed with LOTS of pillows, some even genuine feather pillows.

The entire front of the motel is a facade that looks like a city block. Our "Cave" was inside what is the Bank from the front of the building.

Here's the front sign - check out their website at www.adventuresuites.com!

So the fun was over Thursday, as we headed home from our stay in the Cave. This sign is a little blurry, but it's tricky taking pictures while driving down the highway at 65!

We drove through the capital of Vermont, Montpelier. This is a shot of a state building that looked nice through the trees.

They kept warning us, but we didn't see any. The only moose we've seen on the road were on route 458 near Santa Clara, several years ago. They were HUGE!!

This is the second set of "highway sculptures" that I've seen. Near Alexandria Bay, on route 81 south, there are giant crows beside the road. These whale tails were on route 89, just outside of Burlington.

Ah yes - another traffic jam between Vermont and New York!

2008-07-18T12:34:00.003-04:00

AN UNUSUAL VISITOR...

Well, Brushton Camp has been over for a couple of weeks, but I haven't had time to post since it ended. There's a steady stream of things that have to be done once camp is done, and we also fit in a little vacation earlier this week, to celebrate our 18th anniversary!

On the final Sunday night at Brushton Camp, a hummingbird got "stuck" in the tabernacle, and served as a distraction at times during the service. A couple of times, the bird hovered up in front of Bro. McCrary as he was preaching - it was quite comical!

At the end of the service, the bird was flying around almost continuously, and tired itself right out. That gave Bro. Hutchison (the other evangelist at this year's camp) an opportunity to catch the bird and take it outside. It sat in his hand for a long time, then suddenly took off and flew into the dusky sky!

Enjoy the shots - the beautiful colors were no doubt enhanced by the flash on my camera!

After the service, I caught the bird hovering in front of the artificial flowers at the front of the tabernacle. Coincidentally, the picture was taken at an instant when the bird's wings were fully spread!

Once the bird got tired out, it actually was landing to rest. Here it is pictured on one of the supporting rods that extends across the width of the tabernacle.

It actually landed on the side of a wooden support beam inside the tabernacle, and Bro. Hutchison grabbed it gently off that perch. This picture was taken outside, while the bird was resting for its flight home.

2008-06-17T19:31:00.006-04:00

A DIGITAL WORLD!

One of the things that has amazed me in recent years is how digital photography has revolutionized the world of picture-making. I know there are purists out there who believe that anything done digitally is not truly artistic, but I enjoy working with picture post-production. Plus, I can have the light on in my "darkroom."

I took a picture from my niece's recent wedding, and did several things with it. Some time was involved - these are not quick tricks that can automatically be done in Photoshop. However, the results are, if I do say so myself, pretty neat!

First, here is the original picture.

Now, one of the effects that I like is to make the background grayscale, so the subjects in the picture have less distraction from other elements. Here's the result, quite a while later!

Now, you can also do the complete opposite, for an interesting effect. (I don't like this as well for this particular picture, although in some circumstances it's quite nice.)

Or, you can do something completely crazy, like change it from a picture to a silhouette, add some other elements, and make it a keepsake of the special day!

So, what do you think? Should I open my own business to produce wedding mementos?

2008-06-16T22:10:00.006-04:00

I HAVE A FRIEND!

Though many believe otherwise, I DO have a friend! His name is Art, and he lives in Norwood. He recently had a significant amount of work done to his house - new thermalpane windows, new doors, and new siding. Today was my first chance to see it, and the results are great! I walked around to look at it closely, and it really seems to be good workmanship as well.

Last year, he had the roof replaced, and so he's planning for this to be his major home renovation prior to retirement.

Here are a few pictures of the house. I don't have any "before" shots for comparison, but it's a dramatic difference.

And here he is - my friend Art! (Art is actually an experienced English teacher with whom I worked at Brasher Falls during 1988-1998. He has now become "one of the family" and is often seen enjoying a meal or a picnic with us!) This picture was taken when Art, Wendy, and I were enjoying lunch at Ducci's in Brasher Falls, which is a great restaurant, by the way!

2008-06-16T07:57:00.006-04:00

MY EARTHLY FATHER...

Yesterday in church, I read a poem I had written as a tribute to my father. I now share this tribute with those who care to read it.

As I mentioned in an earlier post this week, Tuesday, June 10 would have been my father's 78th birthday. Unfortunately, (from our perspective) he was taken from us at only 65. It's hard to believe he's been gone for almost 13 years, but I'm so glad for the almost 29 years that I had with him.

My Mom also passed away in 1998, at only 67. We miss her too, and I've got some ideas floating around in my head to honor her as well. Perhaps something will find its way here from those efforts before too long.

"Honour thy father and thy mother..." (Exodus 20:12)

2008-06-15T20:29:00.009-04:00

SOME CUTE PICTURES!

My past year of busy-ness has prevented me from enjoying one of my favorite hobbies - photography! I have recently been considering a new camera purchase, but to this point I'm just trying to begin using my old one more.

We had Sunday dinner at my sister's house today, and their grandson Jordan visited with his parents. I love shooting close up pictures of kids - their faces can be SO expressive! I thought some of these were cute - keep in mind, we had already eaten dinner, he's a kid, and he was still wearing a little bit of his. I chose not to include the couple of pictures where we could see up his nose!

You've GOT to admit it - he's a cute kid!

2008-06-15T20:17:00.003-04:00

TANDY AND ANDREW...

Since uploading the video tribute to Mom and Dad (which occurred without difficulty), it has been challenging trying to do the same for my video from Tandy and Andrew's reception. I did successfully upload a significantly compressed version of the video, but not for the 'blog directly. You can view it (or download it to your own computer) by visiting this link:

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-2248472279538643658

Congratulations again, Tandy and Andrew! I hope that your first few weeks of married life have been great, and that you have many happy years together!

On an unrelated note, haven't I been a posting MADMAN lately? It's a shame that only two people read my 'blog - all of this wasted effort!

2008-06-13T13:26:00.011-04:00

THE FINAL RESULTS!

After another couple of hours out in the sun today, I think I'm finished with the lawn for now. It's amazing how a little bit of concerted effort can really make a HUGE difference - I'm glad I had time (and two days of cooperative weather) to get this done.

Let's take the tour together, shall we?

Here's the approach to our house from the road (County Route 38). Because there was so much plowing to be done this past winter, the lawn on the side of the road still shows some damage. There's more raking to do, but that will be over time. You can see our mailbox, #2327, but the house is not visible from the road when there are leaves on the trees.

It almost looks like someone lives here now!

It's evident when you turn into the driveway that I still have work to do! The bushes grow so fast, and it becomes impossible to go down the driveway without scraping on both sides.

This is the curve that makes plowing the driveway so difficult in the winter time. When turning with a plow, the snow builds up on the inside of the curve, and the back tire of the truck drives over that, packing it into ice quickly. If we have a thaw, it makes it tough to move at all!

Now we're down to the house, so let's look around. First, looking back up the driveway, the lawn to our left looks decent. (This grass doesn't get as thick anyway.)

Then, we gaze to the right of the driveway... (I need to put that gas container away.)

The front yard...

A robin with her lunch, happy that she can now maneuver in our yard...

Now I'm over where the robin was (I scared her off), and I'm looking at the yard from that corner.

Now from the far corner...

And the back yard...

Aren't you glad you got to witness all of this? There's still a bit more hay lying around the yard than I like (I mowed the front again today, so that's three times in two days), but it's fine and evenly spread out. With some breezes and rain, it will rot and turn into fertilizer soon enough anyway.

Now, when we get the INSIDE of the house cleaned up, you can come to visit us!

2008-06-12T11:26:00.005-04:00

THE ROUGH CUT...

Originally, I started mowing in low gear and overlapping. Then, I realized it would take forever, so I just put it in third and started hacking the grass. Now, I'll let the sun dry stuff out and hopefully mow again this afternoon.

Here's a closer perspective of the first pass...

The twenty horses are taking a well-deserved rest in the shade!

Playing "musical cars" makes the task of mowing the lawn even more fun. Since Wendy's at work, there's a spot in the garage where I'll pull one of these vehicles while I mow the back yard.

As I was coming in from the hour of mowing, I saw an ant. I'm posting this closeup of your struggling cousin in his waning moments of existence so all of you (ants) who check my 'blog regularly will realize that we're serious and STAY AWAY!

2008-06-12T09:12:00.013-04:00

IT'S ABOUT TIME!!

The title for this post comes from my suspicion about what the UPS driver will say the next time he delivers something to our house. This is somewhat embarrassing, and I don't have a great excuse. The past year was so busy that, even though my semester at Clarkson ended on May 2, I had so many things that were put off that I am still catching up! Now that my grades are submitted for the summer course at SUNY Potsdam (the final exam was Tuesday, June 10, which would have been my father's 78th birthday), I am desperately trying to get some things done, in a prioritized way.

So today, I begin the lawn. It is June 12, and I've only mowed my lawn ONCE this season, so it's pretty bad! Here we go...

This picture shows the front lawn (or shall I say
"hay field") before I began the project!

This would be a rabbit's view of the house - pretty nice, eh?
No wonder they are taking the yard over!

This is a strategic picture of the grass in front of the porch.
If you look closely, you can see the handle of my weed eater! :)

Here's what remains of the tree that came down in January (see earlier post).
I need to continue working at cutting this up and burning it.

Here's one of the tallest weeds in the front.
I actually already cut one down in the back that was quite a bit bigger.

In spite of the lack of maintenance, some of the wildflowers
from last year still blossomed!

Here's the entire "flower bed." (Weed bed?) :)

Step one - to make a path around the house with the weed eater...

More of my path progress - note the cool
orange fungus growing on some of the wood.

I saw this neat bug on a miniature daisy in the back yard.
It didn't seem to mind me getting very close for a macro shot.

I'll let you know when I finish the lawn, and share some pictures of the results.

2008-06-04T22:16:00.003-04:00

A QUICK UPDATE

I don't have time for a full post, but I wanted to share a couple of my productions that I've done lately. The video below is a tribute to my parents that I made for my niece's wedding, and I was quite pleased with the result. Several people have said they wanted a copy, so I thought I'd post it for everyone to view, if you'd care to. I also have a video of pictures of Tandy and Andrew that I made, but it exceeds the size limit imposed here. I'll render it with different quality settings to comply, and post it when I can.

My short MST class ends soon, and I hope to post news more often over the summer!

2008-05-02T13:57:00.002-04:00

IT'S OVER...

Unless you have been a teacher, I don't think you can truly appreciate the feeling of having just graded the last paper in the stack. I am a teacher, and I appreciate the feeling; I'm experiencing it right now!

My final exams were Tuesday and Wednesday of this week. That means I spent all day Wednesday and yesterday grading, and several hours today. (This was with the help of Teaching Assistants too, and I thank them sincerely.) A pile of 200 papers, each 20 pages long, can be quite intimidating, but "I gave, I collected, I graded," and now they're finished.

I'm excited about a short break to refresh my mind for the summer class I teach, which starts in late May. At the same time, I'm feeling a bit melancholy about leaving Clarkson. Despite the challenge it presented, it has, in the past year, become a part of who I am; now, it's over.

We live, we breathe, we move on. Welcome summer.

2008-03-09T13:44:00.021-04:00

BACK TO BACK...

I have come to the conclusion that soon I will have more time for 'blogging. You may wonder why... "Is Don quitting his job?" "I thought that his semester didn't end until early in May."

The actual reason is I WON'T BE ABLE TO LEAVE THE HOUSE!

The meteorological types have been referring to this winter as an "old-fashioned" one. I guess this is one area where "the old-fashioned way ISN'T good enough for me!" I'm really tired of it. In addition, although I usually get some benefit from snow days, this year I haven't, and it seems that all of the storms have come for a Monday, Wednesday, or Friday morning - my teaching days when I have to be in Potsdam for 7:30 a.m.

This past Wednesday was yet another example. We got hammered with a combination storm: snow, sleet, freezing rain (probably mostly sleet). I got up early Wednesday morning (a little before 5), knowing that it would be a mess. All schools were closed. SUNY Potsdam (the college from which I'm ON LEAVE) was closed. SUNY Canton had canceled all classes until 11 a.m. Clarkson? Nothing... I cleared a path, shoveling sand-like, mealy, granular snow out of my way. I took "Wendy's" Avalanche to work, otherwise I wouldn't be able to get out of the driveway. SHE DIDN'T NEED IT ANYWAY. I left at 6:30 to get there in a timely manner. Surprise, surprise, I didn't have to deal with much traffic!

So, I teach all of my classes Wednesday, listening to my students gripe about having classes when everything else was closed down. Of course, they had to walk from their dorms to the lecture hall, with a few exceptions. I pitied them.
Wednesday evening, I get home and pull in the driveway. The trip home had seemed a little tough, even for the truck. On a couple of occasions, I felt like I was going to lose control. Why? I HAD DRIVEN FROM POTSDAM ON A FLAT TIRE! I pumped it up, and fortunately it held air so I could plow. However, the truck was unsafe to drive. Our new Wal-Mart Supercenter had opened Wednesday morning, and they had cheap tires! Thursday morning, I had all four replaced (they needed it anyway), and it ONLY cost about $500.

Thursday I heard that another major storm event is approaching for the weekend. Oh, joy! We had already planned to go to my aunt's in Saranac Lake to spend Friday night, and we were going regardless. I fastened the plow to the truck, and we headed (slightly) south with our new tires digging in deep.

Friday night - a couple of inches, with some sleet and freezing rain mixed in. We went out for breakfast with my aunt and some friends. We went to the store, then back to my aunt's apartment. We played Scrabble. Outside, the weather worsened, with rain picking up more steadily and sleet making itself known against the windows. We finally left Saranac Lake around 3 p.m., heading home. We drove through constant sleet, although the new tires were making their value evident. We stopped in Malone for some KMart shopping, and finally arrived home around 5:30. After a quick trip into town to get a few essentials, we logged onto http://www.stlawu.edu/ and watched the playoff hockey game stream as the pinging from outside continued.

Fast forward (or slow-forward if this is seeming too long) to this morning. Church is canceled, a decision that had been made last night when it was obvious the parking lot would not be cleared. We've lost an hour of potential sleep until fall. We have an additional 8 inches of snow overnight, on top of the 6 (?) inches of junk underneath. What fun....

Anyway, it's now 2:00 p.m. (new time). I'm done plowing. I've even cleaned up the edges using the snowblower, something that's been necessary this winter and wasn't the other winters we've lived here, since 2001. I'm tired. We have an access tunnel that the vehicles will fit through. There's no more room to put snow. The white flag of surrender is out, ALL OVER OUR YARD.

If I start posting daily soon, it will be because I've had to cancel my classes for the rest of the semester, and just hole up here until spring makes its appearance. How I long for that day (the appearance of spring, that is; I'd really HATE to have to cancel classes, really...).

2008-01-09T10:45:00.000-05:00

WHAT A DIFFERENCE...

A week can make a big difference. Last week I posted pictures showing the beauty of fresh snow, when I didn't have a care in the world. Today, things could have been very different!

We've had very high temperatures since the weekend. Records have been set on several days. Today, the winds were predicted to pick up, and pick up they did, as the transition back to more seasonal temperatures occurred! I was talking on the phone when I felt (and heard) this THUMP! I had previously been looking out the windows and had seen trees rocking in the whistling wind. I felt very relieved that, just a few weeks ago, we had hired a friend's son to take down a dead tree that was near our garage; this would appear to be the type of day that could have brought it down.

So, while still talking on the phone, I began walking through the house looking out again. In the front yard was a large dead tree, with its top end near the porch. As soon as I finished the telephone conversation, I went outside to inspect the damage...

I found one piece of the tree - a small branch from the top that had apparently broken off in the fall - on the porch roof.

There was also one piece on the bottom step of the porch.

There appears to be no damage! If the angle had been slightly different, it could have really done some harm to the porch and the house.

In addition, the top of a smaller tree broke off and fell near our well cover. Although much less potentially disastrous, that little structure does not seem to be damaged either.

God protects us and cares for us. There are those who would say, when a tree does fall on a house, or perhaps when someone dies in a tragedy while others are spared, that God doesn't care, that He's not paying attention, or that He's busy with something else. But, God is good all the time. Let me never forget that as 2008 comes to age, with its benefits, its challenges, and undoubtedly its trials.

2008-01-03T13:59:00.000-05:00

IT'S SO NEW!!

I really like new things! Most of the cars I've bought have been new. I've purchased some items at garage sales, but most of it just looks too "used" to really consider. There's something about being the first to open the box, to remove the protective wrapper or the little clear plastic sticker that prevents scratching. And, if it's an electronic device, there's the unmistakable smell of silicon when it's new!

In Brasher Falls, our New Year arrived with a fresh, significant blanket of new snow! We got about 12-14 inches, at least in our yard. And now, it's well below zero, with bright clear skies. What a gift!

Like others, I'm sure, I have some resolutions for 2008. I'll not trouble you with them, and I'll not claim that I'm going to stick to all of them, since that often is not the case. But, I do have plans to make 2008 a better year than 2007, as much as lies in my power with God's help.

Next week it's supposed to warm up; the snow will melt, settle, and get coated with a layer of dirt. The month of January will hit double digits and start to feel comfortable. We'll write the correct year on our checks. My spring semester will start...

But for now, it's pretty outside, and I'm still "on break." The year still smells new to me.

2007-12-24T09:58:00.001-05:00

PRECIOUS TIME...

So they're all here. Well, almost all...not quite everyone could make it - we'll miss you, Tony, Jen, and Brandon! In contrast to a "smaller than usual" Thanksgiving gathering (for which we only had 22 people), we have a "larger than usual" Christmas dinner planned. In fact, for the first time ever, we're not having the meal at anyone's house. With 47 people, none of us has enough room! Justin was able to secure use of the fire hall, so we'll have lots of space to enjoy the time together.

And that enjoyment is a good portion of what it's about. Yes, we celebrate the birth of Jesus, and though we don't know whether that actually occurred in December, we do know that it happened. Yes, we worship God for sending His Son in the perfect redemptive plan, a plan that was in existence long before Christ was incarnate.

In a tangible way, we can express our love for God by demonstrating it to those around us. Whether by hugging those who drove in from Ohio or Pennsylvania (or even Saranac Lake), or by letting one of the younger ones sleep on my belly whenever he wants to, or just by watching the kids burn off all of their excess energy, being there is great fun, and the time together is something we never want to end. Of course, we all know that the days will arrive later in the week when these "adult kids" must return to their own homes, but for now we're just pretending that's not true!

Today, tonight, and tomorrow, we're all kids again, and this is home. What must happen Wednesday and thereafter need not be mentioned now.

Have a great Christmas eve, and a very merry Christmas. I know we will.

2007-12-04T15:23:00.001-05:00

RELATIVISM

I recently had a take-home exam for the class in which I'm enrolled this semester. It was given to us mid-day on a Friday, and due at noon (or thereabouts) on Monday. What resulted, for me at least, was 72 hours of frantic mental exercise. When I went to the professor's office to give him my paper at 12:30 on Monday, my brain was literally tired!

A few days later, we got our exams back. My grade was a 70 (out of 95 points total, according to the points summary). That was a bit discouraging, until I found out that the average was a 40, and so scores above that would generally be an A.

So I'm thinking that, relative to others, I did quite well, it seems. This is a frightening way of thinking, and one I've always had trouble with as an educator, and as a Christian. In my own classes, I set expectations that are related to some absolute criterion. Now, I also reflect and evaluate myself to see if students' grades are a product of their own efforts or my failure to teach effectively. As a result, I always try to be a better teacher today than I was yesterday so my students can understand the material I'm attempting to teach.

As Christians, if we don't have some absolute criteria by which we gauge our progress at "living", then we'll be very disappointed when it is time for our "ultimate final exam." God is not going to judge us by how our lives compared to others, but rather by how our lives compared to His (absolute) instructions. (In that respect, I suppose he may actually be comparing us to ONE other person, Jesus, Who lived those instructions for us during His time on earth.)

Do we look at others and think, "I'm just fine!"? Are we more spiritual than most people, and so we think our final assessment should be very good "after the curve"?

The standard has been set, and there will be no curve. It's a completely objective grading system, but "whosoever believeth in Him" can pass and receive "everlasting life." John 3:16 - check it out...

2007-11-19T16:01:00.000-05:00

A BRIEF RESPITE...

My body is tired, my mind is confused;
I feel as if I have been greatly abused!
My back is so sore and my head has an ache,
You see, it's been weeks since I've had a short break!

Today I'll go home with no school work to do,
Maybe I'll sleep! Perhaps, talk to you!
Although I like math, there just comes a time
When I want it to be "out of sight, out of mind"!

I still "work" tomorrow - a meeting, a class,
But I'll be relaxed; I think I will pass!
And then I'll enjoy a few days at home
With loved ones and laughter - some time of my own!

And, in case you didn't pick up on it, I'm really looking forward to it! :)

2007-11-09T11:33:00.000-05:00

A POST OF SIGNIFICANCE?

It's no secret to people in my church and family that I've been struggling with . . . identity lately. Maybe it has to do with being officially "in my 40s", or maybe it's unrelated, but I've been trying to grasp a holistic and God-centered vision of who, or what, I'm supposed to be.

In the late 1980s, when I graduated from college, I knew that I wanted to be a high school math teacher. I did that. I don't regret those 15 years, and I feel like I impacted lives for the better. In the early stages of this new century, this new millennium, I began to feel some unrest. My job at Massena High School seemed frustrating. I was spending more time dealing with the "politics" of my job than I had before. Although I can be diplomatic when I need to be, I don't enjoy the sense that I have to "tip-toe through life" to avoid confrontation. I still haven't (and perhaps never will) completely quantified the reason(s) why I left Massena, and moved from K-12 education to higher education. It seemed to me that the doors I found open were Providential, and so I made the move. The enjoyable thing about my SUNY Potsdam position is the continued interaction with former colleagues and friends from my K-12 years.

So here's a trigger - this may seem strange if you weren't there, and you certainly weren't, but let me relate it anyway. When I was deciding to resign from my Massena position to accept the job at SUNY Potsdam, I had meetings with my principal and superintendent at Massena. I'd like to think that they wanted me to stay, and perhaps they did, but that was not the topic of conversation. They were both saying that I needed to do what was "right" for me. Interesting, this idea that society thinks we have to do what's "right" for "us." I was always taught that I had to do what's "right" in "God's plan", and I've always wanted to do just that. Anyway, in my conversation with the principal, a nice person with a nominal church connection, in my opinion, I was expressing my uncertainty about the actual reason(s) why I felt compelled to make this move, that I had not really identified them concretely. (As a math person, the need to quantify is strong for me; perhaps you can (or can't) relate to that.) Her response continues - now close to FIVE years later - to ring in my mind: "Do you think that you'll end up in some kind of church ministry?"

Where did that come from? Was God using a professional colleague to make me think? Or was it more direct than that? Does God want me to not just make a career "shift" (a term that I used in my resignation letter at Massena), but rather a complete career change? Has my move to a completely different type of position this year (teaching at Clarkson) been another step to prepare me for a bigger change?

I believe that God made me, and I believe He made me with certain character traits. One of those traits is a desire to know an answer definitely and concretely (see math person reference above). Thus, I do not believe He'll cause me to have these questions without providing answers. Many spiritually mature people in these last few months have told me that He'll make the way clear; I'm waiting for that to happen. Several have also said that I shouldn't rush into anything, and I don't intend to.

So I'm working hard at what I do. I prepare carefully for each math lesson, knowing that in the "big picture" what I'm doing may not seem to make a deep difference spiritually, but also knowing that I can set an example and a standard for my students and my colleagues. I complete my own assignments carefully, endeavoring to be the type of student that I would enjoy having enrolled in MY class. And, I continue to tell God (and others) that when He makes it clear what I'm supposed to be "when I grow up", that I'm all His.

My father had mentioned when I was younger that he wasn't sure he was originally supposed to be a preacher. He had an uncle (I think it was an uncle) whom dad felt was called to preach, but he never answered that call. Dad thought that he was called as a substitute for his uncle.

We have a lot of churches without pastors. We have several churches running lower numbers consistently than they used to. We have vacant mission fields with financial and personnel-related needs. We have American and world populations that are higher than they've ever been and, as Rowan Fay put it recently in Brushton revival, "many of them are regularly dropping into hell to burn forever."

It certainly doesn't sound glamorous, but if I'm supposed to be a "substitute", then I want to know that. If so, then I'll be sure to work just as hard at that job as I have as a teacher for these last 20 years.

2007-10-27T09:13:00.000-04:00

A GOOD WEEK...

I guess I didn't realize that I never wrote a post last weekend, but that's not a surprise. Last week was horribly busy, and I was trying to catch up on sleep over the weekend. On Tuesday, October 16, I gave my first hourly exam in Differential Equations from 7-8. Since I'm a "nice teacher", I also held a review for the exam on Monday night. So, I didn't get home until after 9:00 on Monday (having left for work at 7 am), and I didn't get home Tuesday until...well...Wednesday morning at 12:45 am! Since we had been grading exams for almost four hours after the test, I couldn't "wind down" and get to sleep until after 2, then I had to get up at 5:45 to leave at 7 that morning too. To add insult to injury, we didn't even finish grading the 235 exams, so I had to work at that throughout the rest of the week and last weekend too. Needless to say, last weekend I was exhausted - maybe I'm just too old for the college life. The real glimmer in last week was that my professor extended our homework from being due on Thursday, October 18 to Thursday, October 25. That was great, since I just didn't have time to complete it, and I got it done for this week.

So, enter a new week. I was still tired in the early part of the week, but I didn't have late nights. Then Tuesday, the body shop called and my old car was ready, so I went in and picked it up. It was nice to have my "old friend" back. There is true freedom in driving an old car! I no longer have to worry about squeezing into a parking spot and wondering if I'll get a door ding; I can drag my dirty shoes over the door sill, making new scratches that just join the others; Wendy can kick the door open with her feet; life is good! It just rolled over 158,000 miles since I got it back, and it's running like a top!

Also Tuesday, before I got home, Motorola called and said they were replacing my phone. The new gold phone I had received as a free upgrade had flown out of its (defective) case while I was walking across campus a couple of weeks ago, and had skidded across the sidewalk, sending chills up my spine. I'd had it for less than a week when it happened, and it looked terrible (insert OCD problems here). I had contacted Motorola to see if they had any liability for it, since it was their case, and they said to send it for evaluation. They found the case to be "less than useful" according to the phone conversation, and were sending me a new phone and case.

Tuesday or Wednesday, I don't recall which, I received my new rebate card from AT&T (see my "Discarded Money" post from early October). So, now I have to spend it before it expires - heh heh!

Wednesday night, we began revival with the Tillises, which is always exciting. They have been tremendous friends over the years, no doubt sent from God, and their ministry is clearly anointed.

Thursday, I handed in a fully completed assignment that had originally been due the previous week, as I mentioned before. I really think it was all correct too, so that's exciting. The revival service Thursday night was excellent, with God's presence very clear throughout the evening.

Friday was a good day at school, although I was tired by 5:00 when I got home. My new phone arrived Friday (I don't like the new case either, but that's a minor inconvenience), and we had several visitors for our Friday night revival service. After the service, we went to McDonald's with Jon and Leah Catton (ljcatton.blogspot.com) and had a nice snack and a great time.

Now, it's Saturday morning, and except for a couple of errands, it won't have to be a jam-packed weekend. I guess I should get going on those errands, though...

2007-10-14T13:13:00.001-04:00

PASSING TIME

Occasionally, I need to take breaks in my office. The hours can pass very quickly if I'm engaged in something and making progress, but otherwise it can seem like forever between 9:00 (I teach at 8, so I have to be there early) and 2:00 (the next time I teach on MWF). I do have office hours from 9-11, but there are days when people just don't need my help, apparently!

I sometimes take "standup breaks," or even "walk down the hall breaks," just for a change of scenery. The other day, during one such break, I was intrigued by the bright sun passing through the blinds on my window, and I took some pictures.

These pictures were particularly interesting to me when I looked at them later. The first one is a candy jar that I have in my office, and the patterns of light reflection and refraction that showed up in the jar's shadow were really neat (I thought)! The second one is a macro shot (that's a close-up, for you who are not photography buffs) of one candy in the actual jar. The third one is also a macro shot of the stylized "M" logo that Motorola uses on their products, in this case on the Razr cell phone I recently received as a plan upgrade.

How do you get rid of monotony in your workday?

2007-10-04T21:42:00.000-04:00

ON DISCARDED MONEY AND HOMEWORK

Those topics seems quite unrelated, but they've both been on my mind this week. My homework for the course I'm taking is always due on Thursday, and so Thursday afternoons and evenings have become something like a mini-weekend for me. Even if I haven't completed the assignment perfectly, once it's submitted there's a sense of completion.... It's interesting how this deadline structures my week so intently.

Now, about discarded money. On Tuesday afternoon, I picked up a Cingular (now AT&T) rebate debit card that I had received a few months ago (March, I think) for upgrading one line on my mobile account. It was worth $100, and I had set it aside "for something special." Unfortunately, it had EXPIRED in August!! I was horrified....

After several hours of mental distraction, I finally decided to call AT&T, despite knowing it was all my fault for overlooking the expiration date. Their policy is to NOT reissue expired cards, I was told by more than one person; however, I kept getting transferred from person to person, as if they had some sympathy for my plight. I did ask (nicely) to speak to one lady's supervisor, and she put me on hold. After about two minutes, she came back and said her supervisor had approved her to REISSUE the card! What a relief!!

So, I'm asking for feedback (my first 'blog poll) - are you a rebate person? Do you think rebates are loaded to the companies' benefit? I really love rebates, and have had good luck with them, except when I'm STUPID! Let me know...

2007-09-28T10:38:00.000-04:00

IT'S BEEN A WHOLE WEEK!

Last night, Wendy told me it had been too long since I had submitted a new post! So, like the dutiful husband that I am, I'll put something up today.

This week has been busy; I really wanted to put up some pictures from the retreat last weekend, and I still may do that. (They'd actually have to be Wendy's pictures, since I didn't take any.) We really had a great time Friday night, and got a lot of work done on Saturday as well. (Oh, and the food was tremendous!) Many hands truly do make light(er) work - I only wish we weren't all so busy, and could spend time together more regularly. I think it's healthy, but I don't have any degree to back up that hypothesis! Tomorrow the members of our adult Sunday School class are going leaf-peeping in Lake Placid and Saranac Lake - yet another September outing to keep us busy in the autumn of 2007!

We have a break at Clarkson Monday and Tuesday. In some ways, that's too bad, because Wendy's school break isn't until the Columbus Day weekend. But, I should be able to get more work done (which is what needs to happen over the "break") by myself. For today's PowerPoint that accompanies my lectures, I used a picture of a pencil snapped in two pieces for the background - "break" - get it? Yeah, they groaned too...

Now Wendy will be happy, I've passed a few minutes of time to write this, and the weekend is slightly closer than it was when I started. It's payday too, for an added bonus (I wore my smiley-face tie to celebrate). So long...

2007-09-21T13:40:00.000-04:00

GEOMETRIC SERIES and RETREATS

I just noticed that the numbers of comments on my first three posts are (right now) a decreasing geometric sequence: 8, 4, 2. The real problem with a decreasing geometric sequence is that it tends to zero.... I guess the success of my 'blog was short-lived!

Wendy and I are eagerly anticipating going to Vermontville Camp this afternoon for a Northern Zone weekend retreat. In some contexts, a "retreat" is a bad thing; we don't like it when our troops are forced to retreat. However, in this context, it should be a very good thing. I'll reflect on it when we come back tomorrow afternoon, and perhaps share some pictures as well.

Weekends, in general, are great anyway. Retreat weekends add a new level to that greatness.

2007-09-18T14:33:00.000-04:00

TOOTH RECONSTRUCTION...

Today I experienced another application of mathematics. I had a dentist appointment, as a follow-up to my wisdom tooth extractions in August. Although they also pulled one of the teeth in front of a wisdom tooth (on the left side), they left the one in on the right side, despite it having a HUGE cavity on the back. The dentist had said they would have to do CEREC, which meant nothing to me. (It's actually an acronym, check out http://www.cereconline.com/ for more information.)

After injecting me with "numb-stuff", and drilling for quite a while (isn't that sound tremendous, even when you can't feel it?), the dentist then took a digital picture of what was left of my tooth. His computer then calculated (from a template based on that particular tooth) what was missing, and designed (in 3-D) an implant on the screen - all done using mathematics, of course. Then a block of ceramic material was put in the mill, and the image was sent to the mill (kind of like sending a print job from your computer to your printer), and the mill poceeded to grind down the piece of ceramic until the chunk that was left would fit in perfectly to fill out my tooth!

Once they glued it in, they did a little grinding and buffing of the edges, and then I left. The whole thing took about an hour and a half, and cost me less than $300. Now that my tongue is not numb anymore, I can feel a couple of sharp spots, so I may have to go back for some more finishing work, but I now have a whole tooth again, or kind of....

2007-09-17T20:49:00.000-04:00

IT CAN BE FIXED...

I got a bit of good news today. Two weeks ago tomorrow, on Tuesday, September 4, 2007, I had an accident in Potsdam. The other driver went through a stop sign and pulled out in front of me; I had the right-of-way. It was a low-speed collision, and no one was hurt, thank God, but since she was still moving when I hit her, she basically ripped all the "stuff" off the front of my old car. (I'm really thankful I wasn't driving the new one!!) As you can see from the picture, the old clunker is in pretty rough shape. It's a 1998 with about 160,000 miles, so I just figured it was totaled. It's the car I pile all of my miles on, so that was rather unfortunate.

So today, Allstate calls and says they're going to fix it! $2509 and change, and they're getting started as soon as the parts come in. I get my junker back, and my new car can go back where it belongs, IN THE GARAGE!! :)

Anyway, I thought you'd be interested in this tidbit. I actually thought about taking the money and just doing minimal work on the car, kind of driving around with an "I don't care!" attitude, but I guess I'll just let them make it look as presentable as it did before (which isn't very). I forgot to mention to the agent that before the accident, there was NO rust on it, NO squeaks or rattles, and the cassette player (that's right, CASSETTE player) didn't keep rejecting the adaptor I try to use in it. Oh, well...

2007-09-14T11:03:00.000-04:00

So I can't promise regular posts, and I have no idea why, at 10:39 am on Friday, September 14, 2007, I have chosen to create my first one. I've recently started a new job at Clarkson University, so I certainly don't have the time...

Maybe it's this whole "being jolted" thing that's getting to me. I've been working here for three weeks, and there have been three of my quotes from class posted on the Daily Jolt. I guess I'm beginning to realize that no matter how busy people are (since I'm SURE my students are very busy working diligently on their assignments), they always find time to use the internet to communicate. Sometimes that communication is anonymous, sometimes personal, sometimes even intimate, but always there! Shouldn't I be a part of that??

Oh, right - what does it mean to "be jolted"? Well, there's this site called the Daily Jolt; since I work at Clarkson, our own version of it can be found at clarkson.dailyjolt.com. They have this option through which you can submit a professor quote that is added to the archived collection. Near the top of the page is a link to Prof Quotes. Since I teach MA232, Elementary Differential Equations, you can search for "232" (for some reason the name search doesn't seem to work properly). You'll find the quotes that have caught the attention of my students most poignantly somewhere on that list. Sadly (so far), none of them pertains to math.

Now that I've been jolted, others in my department have noticed. Some have said my students must like me to be on the Jolt. This is good. But if they like me, shouldn't there be LOTS of stuff on the Jolt? Now I'm confused. Since this is just a temporary job for me while I'm on leave, does it really matter if they like me? Should I be spending some of my preparation time now trying to think of creative things to say so I can end up on the Jolt?

So many questions are floating in my mind right now. I guess this post really pertains to the larger issue of how we communicate. Cell phones, online chatting, emails - even while I was on vacation at the lake this year, I had to make sure my cell phone was sitting in a place where I had service - WHY??

Well, I'm sure you have all of the answers! Can you share some with me, please? :)

And by the way, WELCOME TO HUBMUBLOG!

Oh, now it's 11:06 instead of 10:39, should I change it above? Oh, now it's 11:07... This is becoming a whole "thing" with my OCD...